Memory Lane
by Lifeislikethis
Summary: Donna reminisces about the past while packing for the move to Seattle.


_A/N - This started out as just a bit of rambling thought, trying to clear my head for the actual fic I was working on, but it ending up becoming long enough to be a little story in its own right._

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It was the brown checked cardigan that started it. Tucked away in the back of a drawer, having not been worn in years, its discovery, as Donna worked on packing up her closet ahead of their move to Seattle, resulted in an avalanche of memories. Just the feel of the fabric beneath her fingers took her straight back to that night in the bar over a decade ago.

The air had been filled with the cacophony of workers out celebrating a Friday evening, the lighting dim and the drinks flowing. Donna had been there with a few of the other secretaries from the DA's, trading office gossip and insider knowledge, when she had spotted him enter. Harvey Specter. Rising star and Cameron Dennis's new protégé. She had heard about him of course. Cocky. Egotistical. Womaniser. Destined for the big leagues at Gordon Schmidt and Van Dyke.

She had been watching him a little from afar recently, analysing him like she did everyone. And while she had come to understand the reason for the gossip, the more she watched him, the more she had got the sense that it was all a front, or at the very least just a well armoured exterior. She was certain that there was far more to Harvey Specter beneath the surface, if someone took the time to find out. Donna had found herself wanting to be the one to unravel him, intrigued by him in a way she didn't understand, given they had never even met.

At the time, she had been looking for a change. Her current boss was dull and uninspired and more than a little sexist. He would also continually complain if she took time off for auditions, despite the fact Donna knew she more than made up for any absence with the quality of her work. She was one of the best secretary's that office had ever seen.

The more she had watched Harvey, the more Donna believed she had found what she'd been looking for. He worked hard and was clearly dedicated and focused on his cases, but she could also tell he knew there was more to life than just the bubble of work and the DA's office. And so, she had been toying with the idea of propositioning him for a few weeks. His current secretary Tina was not particularly talented. He needed her, she had reasoned with herself, just as much as she needed him.

Her only hesitation had come from the fact that he was handsome as sin. Donna didn't mind the idea of adding a bit of pretty to her workday, but nothing more than that. She would never be the secretary sleeping with her boss, no matter how attractive he may be. She worried that working for someone like Harvey might be tempting fate with that rule.

She watched him from the corner of her eye that night as he moved around the bar. Saw him be toasted by his colleges. Watched him acknowledge the praise but not linger around to bask in continued congratulations as most of the other cocky young lawyers in the office would. As he headed to the bar near where she was seated, Donna sensed an opening and decided to seize the moment.

She had felt it straight away. The connection. The spark that flowed from him through her fingers and up her arm when she placed her hand in his. And as the night progressed, she quickly discovered that the Specter charm and smile was very difficult to resist. She knew she was in trouble if he agreed to her proposal. Knew that toeing the line and sticking to her rule would prove harder than she ever imagined.

His gaze had drifted to the scoop of her neckline on more than one occasion that night. It had been the same thing when she had met him again later that week, Harvey telling her he was taking the job with Forstman, even though Donna had known he would never go through with it. His eyes had been all over her body, tracing the curves of her breasts in her tight pink top. And she had enjoyed it, the feel of his eyes on her, and the twinkle she saw when he looked at her.

She would never have admitted it at the time, but he was already under her skin, filling her dreams with visions of him making her moan a hundred different ways ever since the night they met. It was part of the reason she had chosen to wear the fluffy sweater on her first official day working for him. A feeble attempt to help solidify a line between them, leaving no exposed flesh for lingering eyes. Not that Harvey ever let a lack of exposed skin stop him from ogling, she had soon discovered.

The rest as they say was history. She often looked back on that night, wondering what would have happened if she had changed her mind, gone home with him instead of asking to move to his desk. Despite her plans and intentions when she had first approached him, she had been seriously tempted. Harvey had stirred within her a desire that she had never previously experienced. It was overwhelming and consuming, the simple touch of their hands igniting her.

For the first time in over a decade Donna finds herself thinking about that old boss, feeling oddly thankful for him. Because if his chastising about missing work for an audition that morning hadn't still been ringing in her ears, she might have been more tempted to waiver that night. And she knows if she had gone that route, slept with him that night, things would have turned out entirely different, certain in the knowledge that she wouldn't now be sitting here, packing up her belongings ahead of their cross country move, together in every way, with his ring on her finger.

She carefully folded the cardigan and placed it into a packing box. She would keep it, a memento of the night that had altered the course of both their lives. Heading to the kitchen Donna poured herself another generous glass of wine before heading back to continue working her way through her sizeable closet. She knew that the cardigan wasn't going to be the only article of clothing to trigger memories, and not all of them would be entirely pleasant.

By the time she had finished packing up her closet, Donna felt as though she had been through a museum dedicated to her and Harvey's relationship.

The handbag he had brought her during their very first Nougatine/Hermes expedition, after he had made partner. And all the others since then. There was the jewellery and shoes she had bought for herself on his behalf to mark Christmas's, birthdays and Secretary's Day. And the dresses. So many dresses coated in memories, some happy and some painful. The burgundy Roland Mouret she wore, a little like armour if she's honest with herself, the day she asked him 'love me how?'. The floral printed dress from the night they held hands in his office, clutching at the need they had for each other in that moment, in the only way they could allow themselves to. She could feel the ghost like sensation of her lips on his just by looking at the black dress she had been wearing the night she kissed him in her office. Her bridesmaid dress from Mike and Rachel's wedding filled her vision with the hours they had spent dancing, clinging to each other, neither willing to let go. And on and on it went, over a decade of memories, all experienced while dressed in the contents of these cupboards.

The final drawer revealed yet another significant hidden treasure of their history, and even though Donna had been expecting to find it, the sight of the pale pink slip of silk still made her heart beat a little faster and her skin prickle with heat.

She had always planned on getting rid of it, the strawberries and whipped cream having irreparably damaged the delicate fabric. But something had stopped her, some need for a tangible memory of a moment in time she tried for so long to put out of her mind. A concept that had always been impossible. Truth was that night had been the end for them both. They might have spent twelve long years denying it, refusing to admit to it, but deep down, they both knew what had been laid bare that night.

Donna had known it was going to be good. Harvey Specter did come with a certain reputation. But she just hadn't expected it to be _that_ good. Mind blowing, earth shattering, life changing. Every superlative known to man could be used to describe what he had made her feel that night.

But it wasn't just that he was good, that he knew exactly what he was doing, or all the ways he brought her pleasure. It was the something else, the something more, that had truly affected her. There had been a connection between them that felt so far beyond the physical, making something transcendent about that night. An indescribable intimacy she only ever experienced that once. That was until the night Harvey showed up at her door and placed his heart in her hands. And now she had experienced those feelings again every night since.

They really had come a long way Donna thinks to herself as she carefully packed away each article of clothing, each memory, reflecting on all the moments in time that had led them here. Until all that remained was the very most significant dress of all, in the history of _them_. The black floral Monique Lhuillier gown that had, unexpectedly, become her wedding dress.

A tingle ran along Donna's spine when she looked at it. The same thing that always happened whenever she caught sight of her ring glittering on her finger. Or even more so, when she spotted the band she had placed on Harvey's finger. Weeks later, she was still finding herself marvelling over the fact that they were actually married. Still found herself trembling over the words of love Harvey had poured out to her that night.

It had all been such a long time coming, but Donna knew she wouldn't change a second of the history they shared, the good, the painful, it had all brought them to exactly where they were now, finally together, finally having everything and headed into a new and exciting future, ready to be filled with new memories.


End file.
